I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
