You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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