I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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