"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
