Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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