Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize