Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
