Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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