Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
