I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i will never coherently bang her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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