toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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