I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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