He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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