Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
