He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
