bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
