I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
