Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
