last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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