I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
