around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
