Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
