physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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