that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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