I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
