You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
