omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
