Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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