youre lurking in front of me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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