he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
