Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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