my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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