I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
