the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
