Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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