oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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