Soap is not a condiment
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
