If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
