i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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