Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
