Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
