My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And then he peed in my hair
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
