So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
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Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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