come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
