I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
