Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
