You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
