question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I showed him my bush... on skype.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
its liver damage thursday
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