I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
