I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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