"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
