If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
