24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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