69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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