Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
