Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
