Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
