margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
one might say we're banned from that church
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
