I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize