if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
