I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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